The Unexpected

Earlier today, a Blogger friend from way back in April, when I started all of this drivel, Michelle of Crow's Feet, personally came by and dropped off this newly made award on my Blog-step. It is called the, 'Rain Bird Award', and it was created by Michelle herself. Michelle has decide to bestow this particular 'Award' to those who have found, “Peace under Pressure”. It is dedicated to “every person who has come through their own personal 'war' with...if not their dignity and sanity intact, then at least with compassion and humour.” There is a marvelous story that belongs with this and one well worth reading!

Personally, I believe in order to be able to achieve that, one must be able to walk through the burning coals of life and come through blistered, but not crippled. Bent, but broken. And, to be able to show compassion and empathy while maintaining a certain amount of gratitude and humility. Trying hard to believe that I fit all of this criteria, and although there were no direct instructions, I have decided to bestow this new, if not worthy Award, to the following people;

Michelle of, 'Truth As I Know It', for continuing to honestly, 'Talk the talk while walking the walk', not easy at the best of times.

Lori of, 'My Life Interrupted', for providing a safe and loving haven for two of God's children, when she could have said, “I did my tour”.

Natalie of, 'Musings From the Deep', for continuously treading water while the world around her, as she knows it, tries to pull her under.

Queen of, 'Queenofphrump', for shouldering the burden while maintaining a sincere hold on reality and keeping true to her roots.

Marnie of, 'One Slice At A Time', for her sardonic wit, while trying to maintain some semblance of dignity while keeping life as real as it needs to be.

Lori Ann of, Lorix5, for giving me a peek of what real Love can be, if you allow yourself to do so.

Of course, this Award was passed forward by me, without prejudice, and in no particular order. There is absolutely no requirement by you to do anything more. Wear it, share it, ignore it. I believe I have done what I felt was necessary to pass this forward. Feel free to do the same.

And thank you Michelle, for making me feel worthy!

Firm Foundations

When you are thinking about purchasing a home, whether existing or brand new, what is one of the key things that you want a building inspector to investigate? The foundation....correct. Sure there are a lot of other details, but without a sound foundation, how long do you think it will last? A well-laid foundation is absolutely essential for a house. Of course, if you want it done right, you would hire a General-Contractor or perhaps an Engineer to ensure that it is done properly. (Well....most of the time.) Though it will cost a little more, but a strong and well-laid foundation is the best investment you can make. Using good quality material for your foundation, garage, driveway and sidewalks and steel for strengthening and holding things in place. Cracks formed due to the use of steel can always be fixed. Sounds simple enough... right?

But, what if we were to take these principles and relate them to the way we see our family. First, think about the family that you stemmed from. What kind of a foundation was beneath you when you were born? I know that at the time you didn't know any better, but what about now? What kind of thoughts do you have when you re-visit the threshold of your past? Was it sound? Stable? Dry? Did it have the strength to hold up the walls and the roof? To keep the outside out and the inside in. Or, was it weak, unstable and leaky? Were there cracks in the concrete patched here and there? Did the walls groan and the stairs creak beneath the weight of your tiny feet? Did you feel safe and comfortable or were you uncertain, unstable and frightened? Was a foundation template created that you felt safe to use when you went out to build for yourself? Or, did you think you needed to start from scratch?

Personally, my first foundation was built on quicksand. The building inspector of the day was definitely payed off to look the other way and it was only a matter of time before the concrete turned to dust. As a matter of fact, I'm not really sure it went beyond getting the forms set up before it was condemned. Then, you are suddenly moved into an existing dwelling. Cold, lifeless and stagnant. The foundation is established with no chance for an inspection or even a chance to get a second opinion. You are in it for the duration. Years later, you leave. Scratching your head befuddled, bewildered and unprepared. Uncertain where to start, you decide to throw caution to the wind and to start building from scratch. But time after time, the concrete recipe for the foundation fails. Always missing one ingredient or another. Stubborn pride, more than know how kept you from asking for the help to find the right combination of ingredients required. And now, the building plans are shelved, dust covered and incomplete. What went wrong?

Lately, I've been thinking about some of the close friends in my life and I have made this interesting observation. Almost every one of them came from relatively stable backgrounds. Better than 90% actually. A staggering percentage! To me at least. And amazingly enough, most have moved on to establish their own firm foundations with loved ones of their own. What gives? I watch the interaction between them and their parents and then between them and their children. And then it becomes painfully clear what ingredient has been missing from my recipe. Sometimes it hurts just to think how obvious it was I can't even bring myself to say it. But without it, you can be sure that all you are going to get out of it is a thick bucket of slurry which couldn't hold up the wind. It made me wonder how we became friends. How did I come to be in such company? It's a mystery I guess. Or is it? Perhaps my sub-conscious was hoping that whatever magic they had would rub off on me. No such luck.

Anyways, these were things that have been rumbling around in my head lately. And as you can tell, a lot more questions than answers. Now here in Blog Land, I feel a sense of belonging. A sense that there are others who's lives had a little bit of a journey to them. That they too, had to search for that elusive missing ingredient. From what I have seen, once they found it though, up went the forms, out came the mixer and a little bit of sweat equity. Toss in a pail full of tears, a shovel full of understanding and a few buckets of love et voilà! A new foundation. Stable, firm and one well worth passing on to the next generation. May we all find that missing ingredient.

Market Day

Well, the weekend came blowing in and I do mean blowing! And with the dark cloud cover, the debate was on as to whether to go to market or watch for any uprooted trees flying in the gale force winds. Of course I went but very close to the end of the day. A good time for deals though as the vendors would only be around for another hour by the time I got there. I took a few snaps of some of the many locals selling their wares in between buying a few things I would need myself. I'm sure I will be back there soon to stock up on meat for the freezer. This is our St. Jacob's market and is located just on the crossroads of an ever expanding community. It is a very active market with the outdor vendors mostly selling fresh fruits and veggies.

Then there are two buildings. The main floor of the first building is filled with meat vendors of every kind. There are also tea shops, fresh baked goods, jams & jellies as well as every known preserve known to humankind. On one end of all of that are a few vendors selling fresh foods of all kinds. Good luck trying to get thru that without caving in to temptation. The upper floor of this building are for the various craft vendors. Candle makers, sewing, knitwear, artwork of every kind. Christmas is coming, may have to go back and check out a few items of interest. There is another building which I didn't make it into this go around. It contains the stock yards, furniture made from the local Mennonite community. Very good quality....with a price tag to match. Plus there are numerous other vendors selling all kinds of uh....stuff! All in all, not a bad way to spend some time. And so, what did you do on this Halloweeny week end?

No matter how cloudy it gets, if you wish hard enough,

you can always see a little bit of blue.
Cabbage! Hmmm maybe next week.

Don't think the Pineapple are local!

Did somebody mention Apples earlier this week?

Just one of our happy locals

wanting to get in on the action.

Looking for last minute deals!

Quite the Cornucopia of colour!

And not to be outdone...

even the peppers were getting into the act!

A little musical interlude.

Beef, chicken, pork, baked goods.

You name it.......they got it!

And if you are ready to some Christmas shopping,

they have plenty of shops for you to choose from.

Arts and Crafts of all kinds.

....and for those chilly nights that will soon be here!

Couldn't resist this purchase.

I think it is a thought shared by many.

And a little Homemade Pot Roast Dinner!

The Market fresh Roast is buried

by all the fresh veggies on top!

Now...who made dessert?

Autumn's Last Call

The leaves are falling

one by one,

As we sadly say good-bye

to the warm summer sun.

Shorts and sandals are all

packed away;

And the clear blue skies

are now mostly grey.

Sunshine strolls

along the beach,

Like a distant memory

now out of reach.

Vast farmers fields

once fresh and green,

Have all been harvested

and picked quite clean.

Trees now stand empty

of the birds of song,

Now heading down south

on their sojourn so long.

Bushy tailed squirrels

busy as bees,

Storing their treasures

high up in the trees.

The evidence around us

is becoming quite clear,

As cold north winds blow

howling, that winter is near.

Gentle as Angels

the first snow will soon fall,

So get out there, enjoy it

before we all hear

Autumn's Last Call.

by Bogey

(G. De Rouin)

October 28, 2009 ©

By the Book?

Now, before I begin, let me just say this; I'm not a parent, I never was a parent and odds are pretty good that I will never be a parent. Having said that however, I was, at one time in my life, on the other end of that. I was a kid. A child. And, as some of you may know, not raised by my parents but in a foster home. In that “home”, their word was the law. Go on either side of that and there were consequences to be paid. Which, of course, left a lasting impression on my psyche not to mention my backside. Love and nurturing were, well, non-existent. You made do and survived. So, my thoughts here are based more from a kid's perspective and as a witness to many of those people who have endeavored to become parents, either intentionally or accidentally. Good and bad and all that is in between.

From the beginning of time, or at least so far as the Bible goes, Adam and Eve, through love and desire became parents. And from my research, God did not hand them a 'Guide to Proper Parenting' book when the blessed event took place. It was up to them to figure things out on their own. And, from what we know about that episode, it didn't go too well, especially for Abel. But that did not stop them from continuing to have children and becoming parents again. They continued to move forward, to adapt, and to try better the next time. And there must have been a few next times otherwise, none of us would be here.

Most of the blogs I follow are written by women. Mothers really. And if I stop to try and count the collective number of children that these women have, it would probably be a pretty good one. And for all of the stories that I have read about them and their children, I cannot for the life of me recall any one of them quoting or paraphrasing a single line from a 'How To' book on how they raised their children. Or their children's children for that matter. They just did it. And the many success stories are pretty self evident amongst the group. That is not to say that they did not have their ups and downs. But, in their retelling the many anecdotes related to their children, somehow the down side no longer seemed as important. They just chalked it up to experience and moved on. Kind of like Adam and Eve.

When people decide to have children, for the most part, I believe, it is a conscious decision. It is not exactly like you are going to buy apples. Where you get to pick and choose the ones that are perfect and unblemished. If that were the case, the world would be filled with budding geniuses. No. We take the children just as they are because in a parents eyes, they are perfect and unblemished. And even if they are a little less than perfect in the worlds eyes, we love them just the same. Equally. Unconditionally. Or at least that's the way I think it should be.

A little over 5 years ago, a very good friend of mine told me that, after what seemed like an eternity, that she was pregnant. She and her husband had been trying to have children forever. Trying everything that was humanly possible. I was ecstatic for her. She was radiant and appeared to be walking amongst the clouds. After about six months or so, all of that came crashing down. The news was devastating. And the doctor, well let's just say he wasn't at his bedside best. The ultrasound showed that the baby had a severe heart abnormality. I don't remember the medical term but basically, the heart did not have four chambers as is usual in a heart.

The doctor gave her three choices. Option one, abort the child and try again. After they went through to get to this point, that option was out. Option two was to carry the baby to term and then just wait for it to die. And finally, option three was, have the child, surgically repair the damage as well as possible and hope for the best. Well, that was just over 5 years ago and the little guy is still providing all that love him many, many pleasurable memories. He is still not out of the woods by any stretch of the imagination but they have persevered. At some point in his future he will be faced with a heart transplant. There is no getting away from that. In the meantime, we just love him, spoil him and treasure him. And I can reassure you that the bookstore did not have anything to cover how to be a parent during this episode.

Earlier today, the wife and daughter of a fellow co-worker came in for a brief visit. It is always fun to watch the interaction between father and daughter and always leaves me with mixed emotions. Happy for them but a little sad that I have not been able to enjoy that feeling. Anyways, later in the evening, after a meeting, my boss came over to me and we were discussing the little scene from earlier in the day and he was reminiscing back to his days of long. Not necessarily in the same manner but it did trigger something inside of him. This fellow in the office, I told my boss, had what I call a great foundation. Both he and his wife are two of the most grounded people I know. She gave up a promising career to become a mother and it looks damned good on her. Both of them actually. And again, you can bet damned sure that they were not raised by parents of Doctor Spock nor will their daughter or future children for that matter.

Why this little slam on parenting books you may be asking yourselves by now? Well, earlier today I read an article in the Globe and Mail called, 'Are your instincts about parenting wrong?' You can read it here for yourself. It is about a new book on the market titled, 'Nurture Shock: New Thinking About Children'. It was written by U.S. Journalists Ashley Merryman and Po Bronson. To summarize, they “...boil down a decade of psychology, neurobiology and social-science research - and conclude that some of our most cherished ideas about child-rearing are based on outdated theories and flawed experiments.”

Great, that just means that the previous generations of parents got it all wrong. Bull crap! Now don't get me wrong, I am sure there may be the odd book out there that could probably help somebody dealing with a certain issue or two at any given time. But, how many parents want to sit there wondering whether they bought the right book for the right child. What if this book doesn't work for the second and fourth child but is okay for the third and the fifth? What if the book you read for your first child no longer applies; do you get to start all over again? Doubt it. Even I know that with each child comes it's own mysteries. It's own unknowns. Good and bad. Can you afford to be reading up on every opinion ever written about the proper child rearing techniques while your child is growing up behind your back? Or would you rather be playing with them, reading to them, teaching them, listening to them..........and …........Loving them?

Muskoka Getaway

Autumn Fire

Little Miss Daisy

Snoop Dog

Sizing each other up!

Comfy cozy!

Just lounging.

Inhale

Nice scenery eh?

Blast from the past.

Check out the pink interior!

On the rocks!

Water power

White foam

Sigh!

Red, gold and green!

A little history

Pretty old rock eh?

On the road again.

A little serenity.

Hi! My name is Jake!

You...you lookin' at me?

Sleepy...getting sleepy...

A little tug o' war!

Two out of three...

Hey....wanna play?

'scuse me bub, but uh, this bowl 'pears to be empty!

What would you do if you had an opportunity to get away for the weekend, all by your lonesome, save for a couple of little white furballs – would you take it? Damn straight! Although the weather was somewhat less than co-operative, the colourful surroundings more than made up for anything that Mother Nature was prepared to throw at me. Not to mention the...SILENCE...was deafening . When things are so quiet you can hear a pin drop or the beating of your own heart. It was awesome. Mind you, the company wasn't so bad either. A friend of mine needed a doggie sitter for the weekend and asked if I minded. Duh! Nothing could more apropos. It's a bit of a lengthy drive, about 3 ½ hours, and it rained most of the way up making the journey feel longer than it was. Fortunately, I left work early so I could get to my destination before dark. Friday night was cool and damp and so warranted a fire. Care to join me.

Well, this is what I began to write about 3 weeks ago. Since then however, things took a bit of a dip. The first week I was busy which isn't so unusual at this time of the year. Business being what it is and all, you cater to who yells the loudest. And so it went. Then suddenly, out of the blue, my throat became incredibly sore making it most difficult to swallow. By the middle of the night I came down with a fever accompanied by a mind numbing headache. Then began a close and personal relationship, worshiping the porcelain goddess for the next six days and nights. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed. Especially when, I am sure it could have prevented. It started at the office, innocently enough, with certain individuals showing up to work sneezing and hacking carelessly spreading germs around.

Well, needless to say, it has systematically claimed victim after victim only prolonging the unwanted visit of this particular virus. The sniffling, coughing and sneezing throughout the office sounds like a very bad and out of sync musical band. You would think with all of medical warnings abounding us to frequently wash our hands or to cover up when sneezing and/or coughing. Not to mention keeping our shared surfaces clean and disinfected. The one simple and basic requirement for not just our own health but our families, friends and co-workers as well is this.....JUST STAY AT HOME and get well. You may think it is some valiant and courageous thing you are doing in trying to become a martyr for the sake of your job. But believe me, all you are doing is making it worse. Not only that, but if others around you do as you do, then the likelihood of you getting sick again is pretty damned good.

Well now, where was I? Oh yeah! Getting away for a week end up in the great, not quite white, but red, gold and orange, north. I toured around the area enjoying the food, scenery and the company of a couple of very energetic little dogs by the name of Daisy and Jake. Jake, at the time was only 12 weeks old, if you can believe it, but was very much holding his own against his older 'sister'. Needless to say, they provided me with all of the entertainment I needed for the week end. The silence and the overcast weather made it very conducive for taking the odd nap or two. Which I did with very little fight. If I could, I would hide up there forever. There is just something so refreshing in letting nature surround you and stepping out and being a part of it. Very soon, I am afraid, the north wind will be blowing colder. The leaves will have lost all power to hold on and we will begin to see the first blankets of snow. (Insert deep sigh here!)

Well, needless to say, being off sick for those few days, things piled up again and now I am playing catch up. Oh well, this too shall pass. All around the neighbourhood are the early signs of Halloween. The stores are beginning to prepare for the upcoming Christmas season and the hours of daylight lessen on a daily basis. Oh where, oh where did the summer go. (Insert another deep sigh here.) Better stop daydreaming I guess and get back to the grind. Just one friendly little reminder to all though, if you are sick, don't be a hero. Stay home...please! Get well, for everybody's sake. I don't want to miss Christmas like I missed Thanksgiving!

Pocket Change

Well, it's the end of another summer and the days are definitely getting considerably shorter, not to mention cooler. And although we are heading into my favourite season, “Sweater Weather”, I will miss the long, drawn out, sunny summer days. The trees are slowly shutting down, turning the bright greens of their leaves into the brilliant, vibrant hues of autumn. Mother Nature has cleansed her palette and has begun repainting anew the landscape - blessing us with a canvas of untold beauty. And, life as we know it, moves on. As the cooler weather begins to encroach upon us, instinct, it appears, wants us to move indoors. However, I am not quite ready for that just yet. Mind you, there are still a number of unfinished chores begging for my attention and reluctantly, I am tending to those as time permits. As for extra curricular activity, my Sunday night hockey group have already taken to the ice. There is just something unnatural walking into an arena carrying hockey gear while wearing shorts. Oh well! C'est la vie!

I know it has been awhile since I have last posted but there are times when personal responsibility's become the order of the day. And believe me, my days are indeed full. It was also quite necessary to enjoy some of the summer days that finally presented themselves to us. We did have quite a fair amount of wet weather this year and so, when the sun shone, I wanted to be under it. To say that I was able to enjoy some new experiences would be an understatement. Pedaling around the nearby countrysides and taking in the rolling landscapes of the many farmers' fields was not only breathtaking but therapeutic as well. It seemed, to me anyways, that when you drive the roads on a regular basis, that each scene blends itself into one and they tend to all look alike. But when you travel at a slower pace your eyes catch things that you would have normally missed.

Like a solitary figure tending to the crops out in the vastness of the green and gold fields while the midday sun beats down on him and his gently rolling tractor. There were many a farmer that put a smile on my face as they gave me a gentle wave while I rolled by. And now, their efforts of toiling under that hot sun have begun to pay off as the crops hit the week end markets. Corn, carrots, potatoes, beets – the shopping list is endless. Fresh, crisp and juicy apples along roadside kiosks not to mention the pies and other fresh baked goods at the numerous vendors. Jars and jars of fresh preserves and varieties of pickles too numerous to name. It's a great time of the year. For obvious reasons, our harvest season begins a lot earlier than those of our neighbours to the south. But I am sure, they too, have begun to enjoy the abundant cornucopia that the farmers sweat equity has produced.

Sadly, this is also the time of year when those less fortunate begin to find it more difficult to fend for themselves, trying desperately to make ends meet. You see them on street corners, parks or outside of grocery stores, begging for a little pocket change. These are not the type of people you would normally see begging for a handout to feed a craving or a fix. But people who are already on limited or fixed income foregoing pride in order to put some food in their stomachs. We are fast approaching the season of Thanksgiving when many of us have so much to be thankful for. Our health, a steady income, our friends and families. Not to mention the frills that go along with that. Sometimes it is to easy to take all that for granted I suppose. In our haste to get on with our days, we scarcely give these people a second glance. Sometimes stopping, most times rushing on to our next destination.

But, every once in awhile, something happens that stops me in my tracks. I was leaving the grocery store the other day when I heard a garbled voice muttering something I couldn't quite understand. When I turned to face the person to ask them to repeat themselves, I had to look down as there, seated in a wheelchair, was the remnants of a man who had seen far better days. His body twisted and crippled and his eyes, dark, sorrowful and desperate. Again, he slowly and quietly asked if I could spare some money so he could buy some food. Of course I obliged without any misgivings. These are the situations that always grab a strangle hold on my heart. I'm not sure what happens to me, shame perhaps. I become uneasy as I fumble through my pockets for my wallet. Digging out some cash to hand over to this man. There are times I wish I could do more. But at the same time, I wonder what has gone so wrong with our system that this particular man is forced to humble himself in order to feed himself. Without even knowing it, this man taught me a little about humility and a persons desire to survive. It's too bad life has to sacrifice some of these forgotten human beings to teach some of us what life is all about.

So, as Thanksgiving approaches for us here in Canada and later in the United States, remember those whose lives have had a little less joy in their hearts. Especially when you exit the store and see one of those lost souls, humbly mustering up the courage to ask for a little pocket change.