Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Sometimes I dream and think of weird things. Such as whether we, as individuals, give much thought to our existence? You know, being born, growing up and growing old. The trials and tribulations and all of the unexpected detours that life brings to us – both good and bad. All of the people we have met and interacted with throughout that lifetime, even if for only a moment. All of the things we have done. The conversations held and secrets kept.....and revealed. Our broken hearts, skinned knees, dreams realized and lost.

It would amount to quite a number of memories I would imagine. Our lives touch so many people in so many ways, the odds of being able to calculate to what extent would appear to be unimaginable. Because we are too busy doing and living, we probably don't give much thought about the kind of impact it would have on others if we were not here. If we were never born. I'm sure that there have been some who have felt as though it would have been better if they were never born. Or that life is so filled with misery that there no longer seems to be a purpose to it and want to opt out. Some people would think that to be selfish thinking perhaps, but when living becomes more torturous than the alternative, I can only imagine the agony that person must be feeling.

So, what kind of impact do you think you have had on the people in your life? Have you ever wondered how different things would be for those around you if you did not exist, overlooking the importance of your being. Give it a little think. Look at a group photograph of yourself with friends and/or family and remember the occasion. Now, try to remove yourself from that picture and think about your contribution at the time of that memory. How would your not being there have altered the events of the day? Did you not put a smile on somebody's face that day or make them laugh? Did you not give somebody a hug or a kiss and share in their joy?

How many times did you find yourself in a line up somewhere with an elderly person who was waiting in line with you and you struck up a conversation with them? Do you not think those few minutes of conversation with them may have made their day? Or, has your phone ever rang frantically and there was a loved one desperate for your attention right then and there. Who would have been there if not for you? And now, what if you are responsible for young ones whose lives depend on you so much. Take yourself out of that picture mentally for a moment. Think about how their future would or could be so different from what it is now if you were not there for them. Not here to love them and guide them and nurture them. How important do you think your existence is now?

Life throws us curve balls. Always has, always will. Then we get up and carry on. Maybe a little battered and bruised, a bit slower but always a little more wiser. Life can also be easier when we live with our hearts on our sleeve. And we never fail to rejoice in those special moments when they present themselves to us. But, when we live with our hearts in our back pocket and forget to acknowledge our own humanness and our own existence, I think we do ourselves an injustice. For as many people there are out there who we believe we could never live without, they too believe they could never live without you too! We never fail to be grateful for those who enter our lives and leave a mark in our hearts. But let us never forget that we also can leave an impact on theirs.


Natalie said...

Fantastic post, my friend. I think that I will employ that tactic more frequently.... :D

smiles4u said... never cease to amaze me with your depth and ability to make me think.

I do think that we are all interconnected with each person we come into contact with....even if it's just for a moment. I also think that each event...each memory is recorded in us. Recently, I took my friend to see these women that practice this therepy that is kind of like healing touch but for the life of me cannot think the exact name for it right now. Anyways...they were telling us that even if our minds don't remember or have memories of things that have happened to us, such as trauma's, our bodies and subconscious minds record every single thing. They get stored as energy in parts of our bodies. I just found this whole idea fascinating. They worked on my friend, and it was amazing, the things released in her.
So, in early December I have an appointment with her. I am nervous because I already know of the trauma's I have been through and those that I haven't shared may come out.

For many years of my life I believed I was a mistake and would have been better if I hadn't been born. My parents and some of my siblings were disappointed I was a girl. In fact my brother refused to touch me or go near me for the first years of my life. Hearing I was a mistake for the first 18 years of my life made it hard to accept or for me to come to believe I wasn't a mistake. I think part of the reason I spent my growing up years wanting to die was because it just seemed better for everyone, including me. I know it's a selfish thing to take one's own life but people need to understand that people that come to this decision don't come to it overnight. And often times they are mentally unstable and not thinking clearly. They honestly believe they are doing the right thing.

I am grateful that I don't think this anymore. I now know I have a purpose, just as each person does. We each have an impact on one another. I do not take this lightly. I am grateful for each person I have in my life. Just as I am grateful for each person that I come into contact with, that brings me a lesson to learn. Even the unpleasant one's :).

I am grateful for the friendship I have with you and what you teach me about living and being. Thank you. You are amazing my dear amazing friend. Love and hugs, Lori

smiles4u said...

Just when you didn't think I could find something more to say, after saying all of that up remember the name of that's called cranio sacral therapy. :)...okay, I'll shut up now :)

Michelle said...

I hope that by the time I sign out I will have had as much of a positive impact as I did a negative one. This would be balance :)

Great post Bogey!

lakeviewer said...

This is a great piece, Bogey. We need to think about how we make a difference every day.

Lori ann said...

It's early morning here on Thanksgiving Day Bogey and i peeked in to my mail before closing up my computer for the day. I read your comment on my blog and came over here to say thank you and then i read this beautiful post.


your words have more meaning to me than you could ever know. or maybe you do.

thank you Bogey. you've blessed my day in the best way possible, i'll keep these words in my heart today and always. When my family arrives, i think it will be that much sweeter (even if chaotic!) remembering the wise sayings of my friend.

On this day of giving thanks, I'm counting you too.

x lori

Hilary said...

So very true. Life always has a way of turning around .. there's much to hold onto. And much to give. Thanks for such a fine post. :)

Bogey said...

Thanks's not a bad way to put perspective into our runaway brains sometimes.

Lori (smiles4u), when I read your words above, it only proves my point. We all have an impact on each other. I write, you read and identify with something that you have harboured in your soul. You write, I read and the same thing happens. All over the world, in so many ways, people touch nerves in others without realizing it. How long we hold on to those memories may be fleeting, but at least they were there....if only for a little while. (And you never have to shut up.)

Michelle, you keep writing the way you do and you will. I think it has already happened, you just need to remind yourself of it.

Rosaria, so true. It is often what keeps us putting one foot in front of the other.

Lori Ann, thank you for taking some time from your holiday to come here and share your thanks and gratitude. If I have given you pause to think and reflect, then I am grateful that you read with an open heart and an open mind. I believe a lot of us have travelled similar paths at different times. When we walk within our own shadows, we can rarely see who is walking beside us.

You are very welcome Hilary. Maybe each of us, in turn, holds the power to turn over the hourglass of a stranger as another stranger can do so for us.

TechnoBabe said...

I have a humongous amount of memories with gazillions of people attached to them. Some people I know and love and are still in my life. Some people were just passing through. And them some awesome angels I didn't know but they impacted my life immensely. If I have these in my life then I know for a fact each and every one of us human beings have the same in their lives. We connect and interact and impact with each other. This is a great post and I read it several times. Thanks for writing this.

Shammickite said...

I like to think I have had a positive influence on the people that I have come in contact with in my journey through life. But without a doubt there have been some negative monents, but I'm hoping the positive ones are in the majority. And I'm determined to be positive and happy and encouraging and generous for the time I've got left.

Anndi said...

You're a darling man, you know that?

Bogey said...

Thank you so much TechnoBabe. Believe me, I am always happy when I hear that somebody reads and can so identify with what it is I write. Very much appreciated.

Amen Shammi, Amen! As we get older, if we do not share and practice our wisdom, life becomes moot.

No Anndi, I don't know that but you sure do know how to make me blush! (Go Alouettes Go!!!!)

Amel's Realm said...

BEAUTIFUL post, makes me think. :-)))) It reminds me of being in the moment and being aware of our contribution to the moment...let me remember this so that I can really live to the fullest...

Nancy said...

Great post. We need to think of the impact we have in the world with our actions and our thinking. It makes such a difference when we are mindful of the person that is us.

Loved the hourglass metaphor.

Nancy said...

Hmm ... maybe a better phrase would be - "mindful of the person we want to be."

Michelle said...

Beauty-full, Bogey.

Renee said...

I'm crying Bogey.

Maybe for many reasons and especially for a few.

I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I am a total open book.

But how I know that I will miss those I love and I know that they will miss me and that I will be the cause of their broken hearts and that breaks mine.

This is beautiful dear Bogey. I am glad I have found you.

Love Renee xoxoo

Bogey said...

Amel, so long as we are always thinking, it means we are still in touch with our soul.

Either way Nancy, it is important that we still feel we are making a difference.

Thanks so much Michelle, as always.

Renee, I truly hope I was not the cause of your tears. There is no doubt in my heart, my mind or soul that your life has touched an endless number of people. Both real and here in Blogland. Whatever your future holds, please remember that what you leave behind will not be hearache but a Spiritual connectedness with every single person that you have ever touched either physically or with your many acts of love, words,compassion, empathy and kindness. These things, priceless by any standard will remain forever in hearts around the world. I am honoured that you have blessed my blog with your presence. I am humbled.