Monday, June 1, 2009

Can I help you?

Whenever I go shopping, regardless of what I want to buy, I prefer going to the store, hunting down my objective and getting out as quickly as possible. Today however, I was entertaining homicidal thoughts (imaginary, not real for those of you ready to dial 911). It was a nice sunny Sunday afternoon, so after a long and very delicious brunch I wanted to do some investigative furniture shopping. I wasn't 10 feet in the store when this tall, thin and lanky sales woman almost tackled me in the foyer. "Hello, my name is Carol. Is there anything I can help you with?" Yup, I thought, a little breathing space would be nice. Her quick approach made me think that she was working on commission. So, as politely as I could, I let her know that my being there was just to look around and to get some ideas. Should I need her help I would come and get her.

Less than five minutes later, I was looking at some accessory's hanging on a wall and was just lifting the tag to scope out the price of something. Next voice I hear is Carols, who managed to sneak up behind me, telling me that they have a great collection of blah, blah, blah! Smiling politely, but thinking otherwise, I acknowledged her comment with a curt nod. She reminded me that her name was Carol and if I needed any help wah, wah, wah! She acted like some addict looking for her next fix. It was getting positively freaky!

The way this store was laid out was kind of interesting. It was like moving from one honeycomb to another. Except now, I was on the lookout for the Queen Bee. I began to peek into the next show room as a precaution in the hopes of eluding Ms. Carol. I would kind of give it a quick scan, rotating my body as I checked my flank to ensure there was no repeat attack from the rear. I moved cautiously now as I got closer to the exit and freedom. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her in the distance and felt a momentary relief. One room to go. Nice stuff I thought, may have to come back....whoa! What was I thinking! I turned to leave and there standing in the foyer by the door was, you guessed it, Ms. Carol. "Didn't see anything you like?", she asked. In my head I responded, "Yup...the door". I just shook my head no, and sidled out the door into the sunshine and freedom.

Like seriously! I know they are trying to make a living and more power to them. But for the love of God, can people not just walk about at their own leisure without being stalked like prey by some big game hunter. Do they not understand that we are quite capable of looking and touching and capturing ideas without help. Believe me, if I wanted to ask any questions, I would have been quite prepared to ask them. Have you run into similar situations whereby you are just in a browsing mood but are constantly ambushed by a team of sales guerrillas? How do you deal with them and are your methods legal?


Natalie said...


No seriously, I immediately leave, because I CANNOT stand to be pushed in any circumstance. I give them my Mafia kiss of death look, and say" I was thinking,or just looking, thank you" - and just walk out.

ms toast burner said...

"...give it a quick scan, rotating my body as I checked my flank to ensure there was no repeat attack from the rear. I moved cautiously now as I got closer to the exit and freedom..."

LOL! Sounds like a war novel! ;-)

'Fart'... lol, Natalie!

I once just said, 'Nothing personal and I know you're doing your job, but I wish to shop on my own... if you leave me alone I will make sure you get the commission for the sale... if you don't leave me alone, I'll leave - I'm just that sort of shopper'

Simple and to the point... and it worked... although I think a good 'crop dusting' sounds just as effective! lol!

Michelle said...

Kicking them in the shins works wonders too :)

Anonymous said...

Oy! I don't know which is worse sometime - too much service, or NO customer service. Both are extremely annoying!
Found your post VERY funny! It gave me a good laugh - thank you for that!

James said...

That was funny. I laugh because I feel the same way when it happens to me. Maybe there's a training camp that spits out Carols around the world.

Great post!

Bogey said...

Natalie.....I almost choked on my coffee!

Ms Toast Burner, now if only I were wearing a camo outfit I could have blended right in. Maybe next time.

You think Steel Toes would be too much Michelle?

Happy to make you laugh Audrey, kind of goes hand in hand with your post eh!

I hear ya James, I was actually thinking about that when I was tryin to elude her. Were there others out there like her.....

Winifred said...

Oh yes, it seems to be the style of salespeople now.

I want to say to them, you need to change your badge to say "here to hinder not help".