Friday, May 22, 2009

Autumn Memory

The leaves had already turned various shades of oranges and yellows and had begun to loosen themselves from the trees. The air was cool and crisp and you could already smell winter in the air. The setting sun, which was setting quicker each evening, was now directly in my face as we headed due west to spend a week at the cottage. This was my favourite time of the year. Autumn! Nothing pleased me more, already knowing that the regulars had long packed up and were now gone until the next year. Happy tunes danced out of the speakers and the music began it's therapy on my stressed out soul. I could feel the tension releasing itself from my shoulders as my hands loosened their grip on the steering wheel. I glanced over at my beloved and smiled softly.













My mind drifted to slow, lazy mornings accompanied by huge mugs of piping hot coffee. Lounging side by side on the deck chairs wrapped in a heavy blanket watching the sun bounce off of the water below. Not a care in the world as though we were the only two on the planet. Time to watch the chipmunks and squirrels grabbing there share of the peanuts which we left scattered here and there. We had our favourite, of course, whom we aptly named Red Butt, for the deep red coloured fur on his backside. And time to walk along the empty beach, listening to the echos of the summer past. Oh, how the time does seem to slip away.
















I snapped back to reality as I recognized the telltale landmarks scattered about. Turning onto the final little stretch, knowing we would get there just in time to catch the final glimpse of the setting sun fade into the water across the lake. It didn't disappoint as it sank below the distant horizon leaving behind an array of colours that only Mother Nature kept on her pallet. Life was good as we wrapped ourselves in each others arms.


We quickly unpacked the truck, hauling everything we would need for the week, down the stairs to the cottage below. The usual routine was run through. Get the water pump on, then the heat to quickly get the chill and the dampness out of the air. Start a fire going in the stove in the basement; load music into the stereo above and get some dinner going. Although most meals here were barbecued, tonight we were settling for some of my spaghetti sauce which I had taken from the freezer earlier. I put the water to a boil as the sauce filled the room with it's spicy aroma. Then I cut thick slabs of a nice crusty Italian loaf and generously spread it with garlic butter ready to pop under the broiler.

Everything was now ready to be served. With my trusty tongs, I portioned out two plates of piping hot spaghetti noodles, then generously ladled on the steaming sauce. The garlic bread was saved just in the knick of time as I often tend to forget about that until it's too late. In the background, the music played. Randomly, with no rhyme or reason. "Suppers on", I cried out as I placed the plates on the table and went to get the garlic bread. Pulling my chair out, I placed the bread on the table as I plunked myself down and smiled across the table.

My smile quickly vanished. Looking back at me was not the smiling, happy face which I had recently become accustomed to. Instead, I was met with a river of tears cascading down her velvety cheeks. It appeared to me as though she were holding in a sob and almost choked as she finally let it go. I moved quickly around the table and took her in my arms as she buried her head into my chest and sobbed uncontrollably. She couldn't speak as she tried desperately to catch her breath and sank deeper into my arms. I felt helpless and kept asking her what was wrong. But no words came out. Just long, drawn out, agonizing and heart wrenching sobs.















Time passed slowly as I continued to cradle her. When the sobbing began to subside, I gently held her face in my hands and kissed her tears. Then I kissed her on the forehead, pulled her back into my arms and whispered into her ear, "What's the matter, what's going on in there?" Then kissed her forehead once more. Patiently I listened as she explained some of what I had already known. Of her past history of abuse, her fears and anxieties. Of allowing herself to fall in love and believing that this was all just a dream. I reassured her that this was no dream. That she was safe and could begin to let go of the past and fill her life with happiness.

She smiled through her tears and we kissed passionately. In the background, music from The Mavericks began to play, filling the air with an uptempo beat. Looking into her eyes, I smiled, grabbed her hands and began to move her across the floor as we danced to the rhythm of the music. Pretending we were on 'Dancing with the Stars' we sashayed and shimmied across the floor laughing uncontrollably. I grabbed a blanket from the couch and threw it on the floor. As music continued to bathe the room with it's ever changing melodies we began to make our own music.















Hours passed as we stirred from beneath the blanket on the floor. Her tears, a memory for now, was replaced with a smile. We stood up and glanced at the table where two plates of very cold spaghetti now sat. Again, we laughed at the sight before us before climbing the stairs to the loft and to bed. To sleep perchance to dream.......


I loved being in Love, and I miss being in Love!

7 comments:

Natalie said...

Yes, it is magic.
You will love again, because you are a decent man and they are rare.Believe me, I know - I dated the the other 95% who weren't. :D

Lover of Life said...

Oh Bogey, there are many wonderful, loving women out there - one will find you.

Michelle said...

Wishing you love then Bogey!

xxx

Audrey said...

Your story was beautiful - very poetic. As the others said, you are such a kind and gentle soul - you will find love again.

Audrey said...

I left a little present for you over at my site - pop by when you get a chance!

Amel's Realm said...

Ahhhh...I hope love comes your wayyyyyy againnnnn...this time for good!!!

LOVE the pics, esp. the chipmunks!!!!

Bogey said...

Thanks for the vote of confidence Natalie. Too be honest, hearing one of those Maverick tunes on You Tube yesterday kind of triggered the memory. I'm in no particular hurry for another relationship just yet but I do love the idea of being in love that's for sure.

And one day we will find each other I'm sure LOL. I just hope she isn't going to be one of my caretakers in a nursing home!

And wishing you Love too Michelle. :) xxx

Audrey, I think love is poetic. Sometimes, regardless of the circumstances, at some point we loved the people we were with. It's just too bad some people feel the need to only commit a percentage of themselves to a relationship. Kind of sad eh?

Thanks Amel...me too! The "Chippies" are really friendly up there that's for sure.